I failed my yearly goals (again), and that is ok
One more year has gone by and I do not have a second income source. I have not written any book, or short story. I am not going to the gym 2-3 times a week, every week. I am not eating healthy on a regular basis.
The list goes on, and on.
I am not doing the things I wish I was, and I have not become the person I would like to be.
And that is ok.
Let me explain.
Every year that I try to do something (and I fail), is one more year that I have used to get closer to my goal. I am not someone that can do radical changes on myself, my habits, and keep it on for a long time. I will probably never be able to do a 30 day challenge of any kind, be it forcing myself to write 1000 words per day, draw something, or go to the gym every day. It does not work for me. For a long time, I thought there was something wrong with me. So many people can (apparently) change everything about themselves in 6 months or one year. How can they do it? Where do they find the inner strength to do it, to keep it up? And most importantly, what is WRONG WITH ME? Why can’t I do that? Why am I a FAILURE?
Honestly, I have not found an answer for this. Perhaps there is none. Perhaps the answer is that we are all different. And NO ONE is a failure.
I have realized that I work better for external incentives. I am more likely to work hard, and achieve more, if someone excepts me to do it. I am really bad at doing things for my own, just because they are good for me. So, I am looking at my journey on a different way. Instead of looking at how I failed to do something, I am looking at how many times I tried. How many times did I go back to the gym after 2-3 weeks of absence. How many times have I made an effort to replace candy/chocolate/cakes with nuts and fruits. How many times did I post something on Instagram after months of silence. These are my victories. I am proud of them!
Since the end of February, I have been in the gym 33 times (a whooping success!). Note: I have not been in the gym for the last 4 weeks, but I am going to start going again next week, and that is what matters. Note 2: this number might not be much, but it is probably higher than number I have been in the gym for the 5-10 years before 2022, so for me, this is a success.
I have kept this blog, and published here 4 times last year. I succeeded in randomly posting, in overcoming my fear of posting things. The sames has been happening with my Instagram and YouTube channel.
I hope to keep on trying in 2023. And I will probably keep on failing for a while. And that is ok!
Celebrate every victory!