Posting on YouTube - first feelings
Hello there!
I posted my first video on YouTube (Small unboxing video).
It took me about 1 month to edit the less than 4 minutes video. I wonder how people do this for a living, and if this process will get easier. To be honest, this is not the first video I ever posted.
Back in the winter of 2019 I went live with an unboxing video of a Stationery Subscription box (Papergang). I had quite some free time, in between job hunting and taking my driver’s license. I filmed the unboxing of the December box with poor lighting (there is not much light in Sweden during winter), I did minimal editing, some bad quality voice over, and pressed Upload and Publish. It was a very surreal feeling. Obviously part of me understood that one video would not magically become popular and be watched by millions of people. But, who was I kidding? Of course the remote possibility that this one video could be loved by millions, and change my life forever, was all I could think of! So I waited anxiously, and I checked the stats once in a while, to see if there was anyone viewing it. SURPRISE! No one watched it in the span of more than 1.5 years. It is interesting how it is quite common sense that if one wants to “make it” on YouTube, one must publish consistently, and publish relatively good quality content. Never-the-less, it is so easy to trick yourself into believing that things can be different for you! I think it is similar to the feeling one gets when buying a lottery ticket or a scratcher, believing in the remote possibility that you could be the lucky one!
Anyway, that one unboxing video from long ago is now deleted from my channel. Mostly because I felt I needed to start fresh. The recently published video is an unboxing of two items I purchased from a well know DIY crat shop, called Craftelier. An interesting choice, after a rant about consumerism and minimalism from my previous post. I just couldn’t stop myself anymore! I am not immune to the feelings and impulses of wanting to have more things. So, yes, I convinced myself that I needed them, and that I would use them constantly! (To be honest, I went on an unintended break from crafting soon after, so I could have lived without them for a while longer).
Pressing the publish button this time was as hard as the first time. I do wonder if it will get easier. Thoughts of “will anyone see this”, “will anyone like it” merged together with the irrational fear that it could become viral. Also, I struggle with the fear of loosing my privacy. I guess I feel the same about this blog, part of me wants people to read this, and of course I want people to see my videos, but I am not really sure how I will react if this actually happens. I just know that I have been letting these fears stopping me from trying these things out. So, I am doing this one step at a time, on my own terms, and trying as hard as I can to not feel pressure to make things perfect. For they will never be.
/C.